what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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