Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
His hands were made for my vagina.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
