You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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