Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
