you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i now understand why vodka
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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