when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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