I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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