Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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