Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
