we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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