We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
