I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
