I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
