I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize