How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
