after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
