I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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