This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
