you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
