Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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