I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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