I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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