i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
3pm strippers are depressing
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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