Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
