I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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