I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
