The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
