Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
