hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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