Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
