So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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