Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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