I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
