I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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