i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
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I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
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i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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