Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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