this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
