It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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