Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
