you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
