I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
