I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize