Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wish you could order shots online.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
