im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
