I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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