thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
