this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
