she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
How's work?
Spinning.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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