This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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