Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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