I am puke
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize