i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
