After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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