well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
