Redeem this text for a blowjob
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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