So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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