jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
