I'm pants shitting drunk right now
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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