Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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