worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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