So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
