I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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