And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
im holly from the hills drunk
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize