His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
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I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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