Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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