question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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