Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
